Last Waltz
by Ivyna J. Spyder
Summary: The Waltzes discuss-er, argue, about their role in the game.... Don't ask.


A Last Waltz

Author's Note: Um... I have a bad habit of starting new fics without finishing others, don't I? Well, this is one I wrote quite a while ago, but never put up... And it is finished, technically. ::shrug:: People said it was good, and since I'm stuck on all my other stories, I needed to put something up... I'm not really sure where I was going with this fic, but...eh. -_-

Last Waltz

"Not Hell, But Close"

There is a dark room, with lots of shadowy figures moving around. Only two of them can be seen clearly for now, and they are sitting at a round table, playing a card game.

Black Waltz No. 1 sighed, looking down at his hand. "I wonder what's taking Number 3?"

"Kehehe, how should I know?" No. 2 asked, flying by the table instead of sitting in the chair. "Hey, got any 3s?"

"Go fish."

No. 2 took a card, grumbling something when it wasn't the one he wanted.

"Maybe he got a better role" No. 1 suggested, shrugging. The two Waltzes looked at each other for a moment before busting out laughing.

"Kehehe, like that'd happen!"

"Yeah, pretty silly idea, huh?" No. 1 said, wiping tears from his eyes. "That'd be the day, one of us lowly side villains getting a role with more than five lines."

"Amen! Keehehehe!"

They played their game a while longer before they were interrupted as a large hole opened in the ceiling. There was a loud scream, followed by thud as another winged, robed form crashed onto the floor.

"Here he is now."

Black Waltz No. 3 jumped up as the hole closed. "You bastards! I can't believe you did this to me!!!" In a huff, he walked over to the table the other two were at and also sat, his arms crossed moodily.

The other two Waltzes exchange glances, and No. 2 stops flying and sits.

"So" No. 1 taps his fingers on the table. "How'd it go?"

Instantly No. 3 reached across the table, grabbed No. 1 by the front of his jacket, and lifted him off the floor. He held the smaller Waltz up to his face.

"Don't. ****ing. Ask." He snarled, and dropped the other Waltz before returning to his seat.

The first Waltz shook his head, getting up from the floor. He sat back down, and looked over at No. 2.

"I think he's taking it well."

"Uh huh."

No. 3 glared at them both before asking, "What is this place, anyway?"

"Oh, this is where all video game side villains go when they're done being used!" No. 2 explained.

"Why?"

He shrugged. "Dunno. I guess in case they ever need to be reused in another game or a remake or something."

"Hmph. How many times have side villains been reused?"

The two other Waltzes look around a bit, scratching their heads.

"Oh!" No. 1 exclaimed. "That guy Ultimos, or whatever, he was a boss in an earlier FF game! And look, they made him into an Eidolon! And, um, Chupon was too!"

"Yeah." No. 2 nodded. "FF games are notorious for reusing things over and over."

The third rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but how the hell would they reuse us? It would be impossible to fit us into another game's plot."

"He has a point" No. 2 admitted.

"Eh, he's just cranky."

"For good ****ing reason!!!!" he shouted, slamming his fist onto the table.

No. 2 laughed. "I'd watch the language if I were you!"

"You shut up, you cross-dressing leg-less freak!"

The second Waltz got a hurt look on his face and hunched down into his chair.

No. 1 shot No. 3 a look. "That was kind of uncalled for."

"I've heard you say the same thing."

"Yeah, well He'd stolen my bell..."

No. 3 gave a half-hearted shrug. "Whatever I have a right to be upset too."

"Oh really? What could _possibly_ be that terrible?" he asked sardonically.

"You know perfectly well what I mean! All that hard work, and what do I get? About five minutes of screen time and two FMVs! And I technically get beaten by those pathetic brats TWICE!"

The first Waltz brought his hands to his face in mock-horror. "Oh, you have been done a horrible wrong!" He rolled his eyes. "It was more than me or No. 2 got, so I wouldn't be complaining! At least you got FMV's!" He looked worriedly at No. 2, who was still sulking. "Dude, he didn't mean it. Stop it."

He hunched over lower, twiddling his thumbs.

No. 1 gave No. 3 a look that said What are you waiting for?'.

"Fine, fine" he grumbled, and turned to the second Waltz. "I'm sorry for saying you're a cross-dressing legless freak." Then he added under his breath. "Even though you are."

"Gee, thanks." No. 2 sighed. "Why does everyone think my robe's a dress? It's not! But everyone thinks its all funny to say it is! It sucks being the middle Waltz! No one likes the one in the middle!!! It's not fair, the bunch of lousy, no good so-and-sos"

No. 3 edged nervously away from him. "What's up with him?"

"Oh, the usual. Anyway, you were ranting?"

"Yes, I was." He cleared his throat. "Okay, so I did get FMV's and stuff, but that actually makes it worse!"

"Really?" the other asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Really! After that and all the other stuff, you'd think maybe I would end up _at least_ as one of those annoying side villains who shows up constantly in the game, but no! I have my fifteen seconds of glory and bam! I end up like the rest of these losers"

"Well, you should be happy with what you got, I mean-"

"And I could have be a great villain if they gave me a chance!" he interrupted. No. 1 sighed, resting his head on his hand. He had a feeling he'd be there a while. "Sorry, you're right, but I'm still mad! Anyway, hell, I _was_ a great villain, you can't deny that! I was evil, all ominous and stuff, I had the evil laugh down perfectly"

No. 1 narrowed his eyes. "Are you suggesting you should have been a main villain?"

"Um" No. 3 tried to look innocent, which was impossible. "Maybe."

The two other Waltzes both looked at each other before they broke out laughing for a second time.

"It's not funny!"

"Hahaheha, yeah it is!" No. 1 giggled.

No. 2 was laughing too hard to talk. No. 3 continued when they had both calmed down a bit.

"Hey, I'd make a better one than that Kuja guy." He argued. "Come on, a villain should be intimidating, right?"

"Yeah."

"Sure."

"Really, guys, how intimidating is a villain wearing make-up and a thong?" he asked.

"Er not very." No. 1 agreed.

No. 2 chuckled. "It would be scary if you think about it. But heck, I could be more intimidating than that!"

No. 3 seemed to smirk. "Yeah, a villain in a dress is much better."

"HEY!" he started to protest, but No. 1 shook his head. He muttered something unintelligible and calmed down.

"So maybe it's a bit farfetched but a guy can dream, can't he?" No. 3 asked. "Don't you guys feel like we didn't get the time we deserved? There was tons of potential for character development, but no Don't you agree?"

"Yeah" No. 1 admitted. "But what do you expect? We were just some unusually cool side bosses. Nothing we can really do about it."

"Besides, there are other lines of work!" the second added.

"Yeah, we forgot to mention that!"

"Mention what?"

"You see" No. 1 cleared his throat. "A lot of side villains, like ourselves, can get some extra jobs doing work in, um..."

"Spit it out, I don't have all day."

"Fanfics."

"Fanfics?"

"Yeah. People write stories about us. It's actually pretty interesting. We've already been in a few"

No. 3 looked suspicious. "What kind of stories?"

"Oh, all kinds!" No. 2 said. "Er, we're mostly limited to flashbacks and humor stories, though Though I think someone was considering a lemon, but thankfully that didn't happen!"

All three Waltzes sweatdropped, and there was an awkward silence.

"I don't even want to know" No. 3 muttered.

"I think it was about you and-"

"I SAID I don't want to know!! Jeez"

"Anyway, a lot of people want to write fics about you." No. 1 said. "You're a real popular guy."

He looked surprised. "I am?"

"Yeah! And me, too. There's this one guy who writes neat fics about us"

"Not me, though. No one likes me" No. 2 muttered.

No. 3 sighed. "That's because you're a crossdressing leg-less freak who also has no personality. Admit it, you are."

"Okay, so it looks like I wear a dress, I don't seem to have legs, and I just didn't get enough time to show my personality! I had the least screen time of all of us!"

"Are you going to start ranting, too?" No. 1 asked.

" It wouldn't do any good."

"Good. We don't want to hear you."

No. 3 turned to the first Waltz. "So, I'm the most popular?"

"Well, out of us three it seems. Game wise, only one other guy seems to beat you in the favorite villain department, really"

"Kuja?"

"Yeah"

No. 3 shrugged. "Some people have no taste, I guess"

"You guys are lucky, at least people don't always make fun of your taste in clothing in fics." No. 2 pouted.

"I thought you said you'd stop this!" No. 1 said exasperatedly.

"I lied"

"If people make fun of your dress, why do you wear it?" No. 3 asked.

"Because I like it- HEY! IT'S NOT A DRESS!!!" He lunged for the third Waltz, but No. 1 grabbed his wing, holding him back.

"As much as I'd love to see you two kill each other... eh, save it for my birthday. Hehe."

"Oh, fine"

The three of them sat at the table for a few moments in silence, and No. 2 started whistling Melodies of Life' until the others gave him stop-or-I'll-kill-you' looks.

"So, now what?" No. 3 asked.

"Um" No. 1 picked up the deck of cards. "Cards, anyone?"

Note: Um I dunno, I may continue this if anyone actually likes it


End file.
